Invader Spazz
by Krin
Summary: Written a thousand years ago, when the new Invader comes to join Zim thing wasn't a cliche. Standard fanfare for beginning fans.
1. Prologue

This is a very old fic of mine that a lot of people have enjoyed. I thought I'd spread the love on ff.net. If you want to see other Jhoneny stuff of mine, please saunter on over to Over The Stars, where more than a few other authors post things.  
  
This fic is officially dedicated to Miss Mari of Texas, a very nice, funny, and sweet girl who helped me get this thing started here on ff.net. *pets Ash* Hey kitty!  
  
Apparently this plot has been done a million times. I do hope you'll enjoy my version, though. If there's enough interest, I'll post Spazz's other adventures here.  
  
I loooove reviews (hey, who doesn't?) and I always respond to personal emails.   
  
***  
  
Prologue:   
Blackness fades in to a darkened room. Several official-looking Irkins stand around a hospital bed, concealing the occupant. They rub their hands together in the traditional evil scheming manner, accompanying the movement with mad laughter of varying intensity. The occupant of the bed giggles along, the pitch starting softly, then drowning the others out, until they look at each other in alarm. The scene goes black.  
  
"You lost! Now, contact Zim."  
Red cringed at the mention of the short Irkin's name. "It wasn't fair..." he whined.  
"We drew straws, and your crayon broke first," said Purple, crossing his arms over his chest. "Contact Zim!"  
Red pouted, moaned, and opened a direct channel to Earth.  
  
***  
  
Short, yes, but filled with mystery, no? Hee hee.


	2. Arrival of the 'Fittest'

Chapter 1 Arrival of theFittest'  
  
"Tomorrow," hissed Ms. Bitters, "we will start our biological studies of the frog." She bent slightly and swiped a clear container up in one hand. Slamming it down on her desk, she leaned forward threateningly. "Partners will be selected, BY ME, at that time." She lifted the container. Various groaning and 'eu!'s sounded from corners of the classroom.  
"What IS that?" screamed Zim.  
"Do you mean," started Dib quickly, "to imply that you have never seen a frog?"  
Ms. Bitters glared in his direction. "The liquid it is imprisoned in is called formeldahyde. It is a preservative for lab animals and DELINQUENTS!" She grinned balefully and shook the container. The frog's body hit the sides of the glass.   
Zim squinted. "And we will be doing WHAT with that disgusting, shriveled corpse?"  
The teacher in morbid purple swished over to him and stuck her face in his.   
"Disssssecting it," she hissed.  
Dib laughed as Zim's eyes widened.  
  
"Welcome home, son!"  
"AAAHH!"   
Zim slammed the door to his house shut and pushed past his robotic 'mother.' He stomped into his living room and jumped onto the couch. "GIR!"  
Muffled sounds came from the other room.   
"What are you doing?!" screamed Zim.  
A costumed GIR rolled into the room, flailing his tangled little arms and legs.   
"I found the yarn!" squeaked the robot.  
Zim pulled the eyes of his disguise off and tossed them into a corner. "GIR! That is not yarn! We do not KEEP such useless and unproductive-"  
A flashing light stopped the invader in the middle of his sentence. He squinted in annoyance and glared.   
"It's been doing that for a while," piped GIR, gnawing through the strand of yarn that tied his dog ear to his left foot.  
Zim's eyes widened as he realized what it was. "Why didn't you contact me at the Skool?!" he screamed. He ran out of the room.  
  
"Futile robot," Zim muttered darkly, pushing buttons. A nearby monitor fuzzed over until a picture came in clear.  
"Zim? Zim?! ZIM!!" Red's face went the color of his eyes as he screamed. He scowled and turned, shaking his head at Purple, who was covering his mouth with one hand. "He's not there," he whined.  
"Then leave a message."  
Red cleared his throat and turned back to the monitor, looking as authoritative as possible. "We have noted your..." the corner of his mouth twitched, "diligence, regarding your assignment on that great unknown planet. As..." he turned from the monitor, stifled a laugh, cleared his throat, and turned back. "As a... reward... and... assistance to your exceedingly difficult and undoubtably dangerous mission, we have decided to-"  
Behind him, Purple exploded with laughter.  
"BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!"  
Red quickly kicked Purple from the view of the monitor and talked loudly over the sounds of his boisterous laughing.  
"Have decided to send another Invader to Earth!" he finished. The transmission didn't end, though Red had not noticed. He blinked a couple of times, then fell over with laughter.   
Purple crawled over to him with tears in his eyes. "That short fool will never notice!"  
They laughed for another full minute. Suddenly Purple looked up.  
"Shoot!"  
The monitor went black.  
  
Zim sat back in his chair. "So... the Almighty Tallest are pleased with my work! They have sent me another Invader..." he frowned and got up, pacing back and forth. "But perhaps they do not feel I have been doing a GOOD ENOUGH JOB by myself!!"  
GIR stumbled down a chute, bounced a couple feet, and landed in Zim's path.  
Zim calmly stepped over him. "Where will this other Invader LIVE? Surely not with me... and..." he looked over to his companion, who stared dazedly at a flickering light. "GIR... hmm... GIR!"  
The green-suited robot stood to attention.  
"Keep a sharp lookout for the incoming Invader," ordered Zim. "We want to pay CAREFUL attention to everything he does!" Zim fidgeted with the collar of his attire. "We must PROVE to the Tallest that I am the best Irkin for this job..." his gaze traveled around the room and settled on a holographic projection of the globe.  
"Wuhahahahahahaha!!"  
GIR also stared at the globe. "What are the blue things?" He asked. Deciding to figure out for himself, he jumped for the shining ball.  
Zim watched, unamused, as GIR leapt through the hologram and slammed into the wall behind it.  
  
"Don't you ever sleep?" growled Gaz. She glared into Dib's room from the hallway, her figure sillohetted against the hall light.  
"Not when there are destructive aliens on the loose!" shouted Dib, raising one fist to the ceiling.  
Gaz scowled and slammed his door shut.  
Dib grinned, grabbed his telescope, and climbed out the window. "Ahh," he said. "A relaxing night on the roof, searching for absolute proof of Zim's stupid alien existence..." He set the telescope up. "Undoubtably," he muttered, focusing the lenses, "the most ridiculous... disguise..." His ramblings faltered.   
"What is THAT?" he screamed, rubbing his eyes and staring up at a bright dot in the sky.   
"Shut up!" came Gaz's exasperated scream from within the house.  
Dib snatched the telescope and fixed it on the object.   
"It's a... it's a... a..." He squinted through the eyepiece.  
The white light got brighter and brighter. As it got closer to the telescope, it grew in size, until it seemed immense. Dib screamed, but, frozen in fear, kept his eye glued to the eyepiece.  
"AAAAAAAA!!!"  
The blinding light collided with the telescope. Dib sat back in horror, expecting the worse.  
A lightening bug flew over the top of the telescope, circled him quizzically, then flew off.  
Dib breathed a sigh of relief. "Phew!" He scanned the sky again. "Stupid bug..."  
Behind him, a blue light streaked from the stars to the ground.  
  
GIR curled up next to the door and dared a lawn gnome to a staring contest. Zim's orders of staying awake and watching for the new Invader quickly fled from his mind.   
"You're very good at this game," noted GIR.  
The gnome said nothing.  
GIR half-closed one eye, then the other. "I didn't blink!" he announced.  
The gnome said nothing.  
A slight breeze shook the leaves in the trees. GIR lay his head down in his arms, continuing to stare at the gnome.  
"Go to sleep, GIR," said the gnome, without moving its mouth.  
"Okay," GIR said to the hallucination slowly. He shut his eyes and rubbed his face on the doorstep. "You have good ideas... Mr Gnome..."  
GIR did not awaken when a space craft smashed into the lawn, leaving a long, deep gouge in the ground, obliterating many of the assorted lawn ornaments. GIR did not awaken when the owner of the stellar vehicle stepped from the dust and laughed dementedly. GIR did kick his leg in his sleep when the dark figure pet him on the head.   
The guest stepped over the small guard, opened the door, and closed it softly again.  
GIR startled awake. "Huh? What?" he looked around the yard.   
Mr Gnome was missing half his face and part of one leg. Something big had slammed into the fence, knocking it down. That same big thing was now stuck in the thick metal tentacles of the house under the lawn.  
"You blinked!" GIR told the gnome. "I win!"  
He promptly fell back asleep.  
  
CRASH!  
"Ow!"  
Zim slowly opened one eye. He couldn't see anything in the dark.   
CRASH!  
"OW!"  
He opened his other eye. That voice didn't sound like GIR's...  
CRASH!  
"OW!"  
The last scream sounded right in his face, before a creaking noise was heard, and something weighted down the bed.  
"AAAAAAAAAA!" Zim scrambled for the light.  
Two big red eyes squinted down at him. Zim stared for a second, screamed again, and pulled the covers over his head.  
"GIR!" he screamed. "GIR!"  
"Hey!" came the voice. "Wake up!" He felt two hands shake his arms. "Get up! I'm here!"  
Cautiously, he lowered the cover. An Irkin grinned down on him.   
"The Almighty Tallest sent a GIRL?!" Zim shrieked.  
The female crossed her arms. "So?" she said. "The first time they sent you."   
"Get off!"  
GIR bounded in the room, an ego waffle hanging out of his mouth. "She's here!" he announced with his mouth full.  
"I noticed," grumbled Zim as he got out of his bed.   
The girl looked at GIR. "You're different from the SIRs," she said.  
GIR grinned at her and chomped the waffle. "I'm a GIR," he said proudly.  
"What does the G-"  
"Nothing," interrupted Zim, annoyed. He pulled his black gloves higher up his arms to get rid of the wrinkles. "GIR, why didn't you alert me that... she... was here?"  
"I was sleeping," he replied.  
Zim squinted in annoyance. He stood and regarded the girl.  
"My name is Spazz," she said, grinning again.   
"Ahh... where's your SIR?" asked Zim.  
"They wouldn't GIVE me one," she said, pouting. "Too dangerous," she said in a mocking tone.   
Zim squinted his eyes. That sounded a bit suspicious. "Invader Spazz," he began, "you will find this planet treacherous, dangerous, vile, and ripe for interplanetary governing." He rubbed his hands together. "The Almighty Tallest sent ME here to prepare for-"  
Zim stopped. Spazz and GIR were engaged in a game of poker.  
"I see your five, and raise you ten," said Spazz, putting a chip in the middle.  
"Hmm..." said GIR.  
"GIR!"  
The robot looked up. "I'm playing," he said simply.  
Zim slapped himself in the face. "We'll continue this in the morning," he said. He left the room and fell asleep on the couch.


	3. Frog Guts

Chapter 2 Frog Guts  
  
"Son! You're going to be late for Skool!"  
Zim's robotic mother snatched him up, and in a fury of dressing and teethbrushing, prepared him for another busy day. "Have fun! And take your sister!" she screamed, prodding him in the back.  
"Ow," muttered Zim sleepily. He rubbed his eyes.   
Spazz stood right before him, looking very displeased.   
"Is this what I have to wear?!" she cried.  
Zim glanced at her. She wore the same standard red Invader costume, only it was fringed with frilly black lace. She wore a giant orange wig. As he watched, she scratched her head. "This is itchy," she said, blinking her 'human' eyes.  
Zim sighed. "We must attend this 'Skool' to blend in with the regular earthenoids of our stature."  
She giggled. "I'm taller than you are!"  
"Shut up!"  
"Here you go, sweety!" said the mother, shoving a brown paper bag lunch into Spazz's hands.  
"Thanks, mommy," she said. "Bye bye GIR!" Spazz waved in a vague direction.  
Zim took another few minutes to yell various orders at GIR, such as contacting him immediately if the Tallest called again, and being ready for his assistance at any time. "You must be prepared for anything today," explained Zim, fidgeting with his black 'hair.' GIR nodded sleepily. "Monitor the perimeters, and-" Zim glanced down.  
GIR was doing a jig on the slippery floor.  
"Jig jig-jig jig jig!"  
"I'll scream if I need you," said Zim weakly.   
"Hurry up!" shouted Spazz from outside the door.  
Zim frowned, not being used to taking orders from anyone other than the Tallest.  
As he stepped outside and locked the fifty-three locks on the door, his jaw dropped.  
"AAAAAAA!"  
The image of Spazz's ship, the smashed-up lawn ornaments, and the destroyed yard met his eyes. Just beyond the fence, Dib paused in his jumping up and down and taking pictures like a maniac long enough to take in Spazz's green skin and unlikely giant, orange hair.  
"At last!" screamed Dib, snapping a picture of Spazz's ship. "Proof beyond anyone's lingering doubts!" He grinned and took a picture of Spazz. "Is this your girlfriend, Zim? Does Zim have a little alien girlfriend?"  
Zim's hands clenched into fists. "She is not my girlfriend, you vile human trash!" He turned and hollered back to the house. "GIR!"   
The little robot appeared immediately. He squinted as the flash from Dib's camera caught his attention. "Oo! Flashy!"   
"Not now, GIR! Clean up this mess!" shouted Zim. GIR saluted, and began programming the house to take care of the destroyed lawn.  
Meanwhile, Spazz had walked steadily over to Dib, holding up one hand to block the unfriendly flashing of the camera. Dib backed up a little. "So, did you two meet on the same planet?" he taunted.  
Spazz reached out and snatched the camera. "Is this a friend of yours?" she asked, looking at it peculiarly.  
Dib's eyes narrowed. "It's a camera! And it's mine. Give it back!"  
Spazz grinned and hid it behind her back. "Or else what, Vile Human Trash?"  
"That's not my name!" whined Dib, jumping up and down, trying to reach the camera.   
Zim stood uncertainly. He needed to make sure that GIR finished his job, but he also needed to make sure that Spazz didn't put his mission in jeopardy.  
Behind him, the door slammed open. "You kids get to Skool!" screamed his 'mother.' She pointed at Dib, one finger sparking. "I'll call your father!"  
Dib lunged for his camera. Spazz stepped aside and snickered as he landed face-first onto the cement sidewalk. "I'm sure that hurt your weak flesh," she stated.  
He groaned.  
"Hurry up, GIR!" screamed Zim. The little robot 'eeped' as the mother slammed the door shut, and the house finished perfecting the yard.  
"There, just as it was," muttered Zim darkly. He rushed over to Spazz. "Come on, come on," he said, glancing up and down the street.  
Spazz had opened the camera; its shiny innards spilled onto the sidewalk. "Ooo!" she said as she pulled the film out.   
"Enough with that, we have to go!" shouted Zim. He took the camera and drop-kicked it over to where Dib was slowly getting up.  
  
"We have a new student today, class," hissed Ms. Bitters.  
Dib groaned and rubbed the ice pack over his black eye.   
Spazz grinned broadly. "Hi class!" she shouted, waving enthusiastically. Ms. Bitters glared down at her.   
"Take a seat next to... Zim," she said.  
Zim groaned.   
Dib coughed. "Does anybody else see the alien-" he started.  
"Not again!" came a call from the back of the class. "First Zim, now Spazz!"  
"But!" protested Dib. "Look at that hair!"  
Spazz scratched her head. "Yeah? So?" She patted it back in an unflattering way and took her seat. She squeaked.  
Ms. Bitters partnered the class.   
"The enemy can be cunning," whispered Zim as a jar was placed on his desk. "But it is simply a matter of distracting their tiny brains long enough to-"  
"What are we doing with that?" interrupted Spazz, pointing to the jar.  
Zim made a disgusted sound. "We will disssssect it."  
Dib looked over at him. Zim pretended to slash him with the scaple. Spazz watched the motion. She looked over at Dib and copied Zim's movement with a pencil. Dib snickered.  
"Remove the frog from the jar," snarled Ms. Bitters.  
The Irkins stared at the jar.  
"You do it," said Zim.  
"You do it," replied Spazz, pushing the jar closer to Zim.   
"I am NOT touching that," he spat.  
The red of her true eyes glittered under those of her disguise. "You afraid?" she teased.  
"Think of the germs," warned Zim, his eyes going wide. Spazz crunched herself into a small ball in her chair.  
"I'm not doing it," she said, her voice muffled by the lace on her dress.  
Zim sighed heavily and unscrewed the top of the jar.  
"Now, disembowel the frog," directed the teacher. "Make a quick twisting motion, upwards. Don't spill any of it on the floor!"  
Zim and Spazz blanched as the frog hit the desk with a splat.  
"The enemy is trying to disgust us," whispered Spazz. "They're trying to find our weakness. We are Irkins! We do not squirm at the sight of a mere ex-vertebrate in fermenting solution."  
Zim nodded. "You do it."  
Spazz made a disgusted sigh.   
"They're not working!" screamed Dib, indicating the Invaders with his scaple.  
"It's against my principles!" Zim screamed back.  
"Inferior aliens don't have principles!"  
Spazz's eyes flashed. "Inferior? Inferior?!" she picked up the frog and hurled it at Dib. He ducked. Droplets of slime sprinkled around the room as it flew out the window. The sounds of kindegardners screaming was heard from outside.  
Ms. Bitters hissed threateningly. Zim banged his head on the desk. Spazz looked at her slimy gloved hand. "What?" she asked.  
Zim looked at her. "Don't touch me," he said.  
"MS. BITTERS I GOTTA GO TO THE BATHROOM!" Spazz screamed. She didn't wait for assent, but went running out the door.  
Zim looked at the teacher. He looked at the class. He looked out the window. He looked at the teacher. He ran out the door.  
  
"Are you allowed in here?"  
Zim sighed and leaned against a stall door.  
"Cuz, you know, boys aren't allowed in the girl's bath-"  
"Don't touch that!" screamed Zim. Spazz's hand froze, just above the faucet. "Toxic fluid runs through the plumbing," he explained.  
Spazz nodded. She wiped her slimed hand on a paper towel.  
"I don't like it here," she said.  
"It's not whether we like it," he spat angrily, "it's what we were assigned! Don't question the orders of the Tal-"  
The door creaked open. A girl rushed in. She took one look at Zim, screamed, and ran out.  
Spazz pulled at the laced collar of her dress. She grabbed Zim by the back of his shirt and dragged him out the door.   
"What are you doing?" he asked, clawing at her hands.  
"Got to get out of here," she said frantically, searching the halls for an escape.  
"We have to go back to class." Zim struggled and pulled himself out of her grasp. She froze. "What now?"  
Spazz backed up and flattened herself against the wall. A thousand screaming kids ran over Zim on the way outside for recess.  
Zim groaned and peeled himself off the floor. One last kid bounded down the hall, stomping his head. Spazz giggled and pulled Zim up.  
  
"I drew a picture of a frog!" said Spazz, holding up her paper.  
Zim glanced at it. It resembled nothing like a frog.   
Spazz gathered up a bunch of papers. "See?" she said, stapling the ends together. "It's a flip book." She flipped the pictures. It was a short movie of she and Zim dissecting the frog, then the frog coming back together again and chasing after them. It ended somehow with Dib being impaled on a scaple.  
"She might like it," said Zim flatly, indicating the teacher. Spazz brought it up to her.   
Dib watched in shock as Ms. Bitters accepted the papers without question.   
"That's not fair!" he screamed. "They didn't do any work!"  
"Their collective brains prove far more intelligent than yours, as big as your head is," Ms. Bitters replied. Dib frowned and shot Zim the evil eye.  
Spazz hummed and stared into space. Zim tried to ignore it. Spazz hummed louder and started rocking back and forth in her chair.  
"Stop that," Zim hissed.  
She turned her head and stared at him without blinking.  
All around them, the class continued the dissection. Often the sound of an organ squishing was complimented by a disgusted gag. Five students ran to the nurse.  
Dib scowled and finished writing down the contents of the frog's stomach. He threw the chopped up frog away and handed in his papers.  
Zim concentrated on his plan. Spazz glanced over his shoulder. "Planning the landing sites?" she asked. He nodded.  
A paper airplane hit Zim in the eye.  
"OW!"  
Dib exploded with laughter. No one in the class noticed.  
Zim angrily squinted his eye and unfolded the paper. It was a crude drawing of him and Spazz, without their disguises, holding hands. On the bottom "Zim has a girlfriend" was scrawled in hot pink crayon.  
"That's not what we look like," began Spazz, pointing to the picture. Zim slapped his hand over her mouth.   
"Of course not," he said loudly, "because we resemble normal humanlings in every possible way."  
Spazz nodded gravely. Zim glared at her, then removed his hand. Spazz looked at the paper airplane.   
"Do you have any more of this?" she asked Zim, waving the paper up and down. He gave her some.  
Spazz scrounged around the floor, picking up discarded paper clips, erasers, and pencil stubs. She made fifteen separate trips to the teacher's desk for tape.  
Zim jotted some notes beneath his drawing of Impending Doom II coming to earth. "What are you doing?" he asked her.  
Spazz blinked sweetly and taped a tack to the front of her paper creation. "Returning a favor," she said. "Watch out." Zim ducked as she pulled her arm back and launched the object.  
Dib looked up just before an elaborate paper airplane, decked with sharp and painful-looking weaponry, smashed into his face.  
Zim burst out laughing. Dib screamed and pulled the pointy airplane out of his face. Spazz flicked a paper clip at him.  
"Spazz! Zim! Dib!" screamed the teacher. "Principal's office!"  
The Invaders screamed. Dib groaned and blinked a trickle of blood out of his eyes.  
  
The ceiling lights flickered. Spazz glanced around the hall as they walked.  
"Get your claws out of my arm," said Zim darkly. Spazz didn't let go of him.  
"What will the Principal do?" she asked.  
"Oh, I don't know," replied Dib sarcastically. "Maybe he'll have you branded delinquents and suspended"  
Zim froze, off-setting Spazz. "Branded?" he asked.  
"Yup." Dib did a cruel impersonation of a cow being branded.  
"Suspended?" squeaked Spazz. The image of the Irkins' war prisoners' blue suspension modules flashed through her head.  
Zim turned to her. "This is all your fault!" he screamed. "You're here for ONE DAY and already we are in-"  
"My fault!" she screamed back, itching her head under her wig. "This thing is SO ANNOYING!"  
Zim's glare cut her off. Dib was staring at Spazz.  
"What?" she asked, "is there squindish in my teeth or something?"  
"Squindish?" asked Dib. "Ah ha!" He pointed one finger at her. "No one here eats squindish! I don't even know what that is!"  
"Aren't you special," muttered Spazz, eyeing the walls darkly.  
Zim considered her behavior. When she had first seen the Skool, she had frozen in her tracks. Walking through the hallways made her jumpy. He vaguely wondered why this must be.  
As if suddenly coming to a private conclusion, Spazz proclaimed, "It is a prison for children."  
"Huh?" asked Dib.  
Spazz waved her hands at the hallway walls. "A prison," she said.  
"Yes," said Zim quickly, forcing laughter, "ha ha ha! That is how we refer to Skools where... we're from."  
Dib glanced around. "For once, I agree," he said. "Lamentably so, though."  
  
"The principal only has time to see one of you right now," creaked the ancient secretary. She stood, hunched over them, sweeping them with her eyes. Spazz tried to make herself smaller by smushing herself between Zim and Dib, where there wasn't a chair.  
Zim elbowed her in the side. Dib shifted uncomfortably away from her.  
"How about..." her shaking arm moved back and forth, "you."  
"Figures," muttered Dib, rubbing his black eye and small cuts.  
The secretary walked Dib to the principal's door. Or, as Zim noted, leaned heavily against Dib the whole way and then shoved him into the room. The secretary glared at the Invaders, then took a seat behind her desk. She was so old and short only the white top of her hair could be seen over the piles of paper on the desk.  
"Let us go," said Zim quietly.  
Spazz nodded, sank to the floor, and crept out.  
  
"So..." said Zim.  
Spazz looked in alarm at a locker, featuring the latest in offensive graffiti. "What?" she asked quickly, placing her nails back into Zim's arm.  
"What is WRONG with you?" he asked, snatching his arm back.  
"I... uh... don't LIKE hallways," she said, not looking directly at him.  
Zim wondered if his plan to take the longest way back to the classroom was a good one afterall.  
"Bad luck," said Spazz.  
"What?"  
"Hallways. Long, dark, scary hallways are bad luck." She blinked and looked at him as if he should understand. "There's always... people," she shuddered, "at the end of hallways, waiting... for you..."  
Zim also shuddered, though involuntarilly. "No, no," he said quickly, pulling her hand off his arm. "Don't be stupid..."  
Spazz began chanting the word 'out' in a song, not unlike GIR's Doom song. Zim rolled his eyes. True to the robot's style, the little song seemed unending.  
"Out out out, I want out, lemme out, lemme out, out out out..."  
  
"What are YOU doing back here?" asked Ms. Bitters.  
"The principal was MIGHTY BUSY!" shouted Zim quickly. "Oh yes, busy indeed... he had no reason to see us." He dragged Spazz swiftly to their seats.  
"The principal branded Dib," said Spazz seriously. The teacher snorted.  
Zim began his daily, tedious task of watching the clock, and waiting. Waiting for Skool to be over...


	4. Zim Tries to Concentrate

***  
  
Don't you just love bugging someone when they're trying to concentrate? (actually, this happens more TO me than the other way around) Poor Zim. He just looooves Spazz, you know. *smile*   
  
***  
  
Chapter 3 Zim Tries To Concentrate  
  
  
"Welcome home, kids!" The robot mom seemed realistically pleased to see her 'offspring.' Realistic, minus the new "To Serve Man" apron and pot of spaghetti over her head.  
"Hi mommy!" shouted Spazz loudly. She reached up and grabbed a single strand of spaghetti. "Mmm!"   
"Ugh," moaned Zim as he pushed the mom out of the way. Spazz rushed into the house and jumped on the couch.  
"I beat you!" she said, pulling the giant orange wig off and tossing it into a corner with vengeance.  
"It was not a contest," said Zim hotly. He yanked his boots off and sat back in the couch. "Ahh..." The fragile silence was suddenly shattered.  
"VAAAAAAAAASSSSSOLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEAN!"  
Zim groaned and slapped himself in the face before GIR had a chance to even enter the room. Which he did, face first, sliding across the floor.  
"Hello, master!" he chimed. "I am slippery!" To demonstrate, he stood up, took a running start, jumped down onto the floor, and slid into the wall leaving a slime trail behind him.   
"Euuuuuu..." said Spazz, looking at the smeared vasolean.   
"GIR," started Zim, looking at him between the fingers of the hand covering his face, "vasolean is VERY DIFFICULT to remove... from ANYTHING!"  
"I know!" squeaked the robot. His eyes squinched up, then stuck. "Aaah! I cannot move my eyes!" GIR stumbled around the room, bumping into things. Whenever he hit something relatively light, it stuck to him.  
"THIS, is what I have to deal with," said Zim, exasperated, holding his hands out at GIR.  
Spazz giggled. "I'll fix it!" She ran over to GIR and picked him up by a leg. "To the showie for de little ROBOT!!"  
GIR screamed, though Zim could not tell if it was out of fear, or happiness.  
  
"Look master!"  
Zim squinted. GIR stuck his face close to Zim's.  
"I am squeaky clean! Squeaky clean!!" GIR rubbed the side of his face with one hand, producing an annoying   
-ssssssssqqeeeeeeeeeeeak!- sound.   
"GIR, I'm trying to concentra-"  
-Ssssssssqqeeeeeeeeeak!-  
"I really have to finish this-"  
-Ssssssssqqeeeeeeeeeak!-  
"Can't you go annoy Spa-"  
-Ssssssssqqeeeeeeeeeak!-  
"GO AWAY!!"  
GIR sniffed, hand mid-squeak! He pouted, then turned and slowly walked out.  
Zim rolled his eyes. "At last! A little pea-"  
From the other room came; -ssssssssssssqqeeeeeeeeak!-  
"Argh..."  
Spazz bounded into the room.  
"What're you doing?" she asked, jumping onto the couch next to him.  
Zim scowled. "Working."  
"Why don't you work downstairs?"  
-sssssssssqqeeeeeeeeak!-  
Zim looked at her. "A good question." He got up and walked to the kitchen.  
Spazz hummed to herself and vaguely wondered why he would go to the kitchen to work downstairs. No matter, she thought to herself.  
"Squeak!" said Spazz.  
GIR crept up to the door frame, looked inside carefully, and snuck into the room.  
"Hello, crazy girl-master," piped GIR.  
"Hall-oooooo!"  
Spazz grinned and picked up the remote. GIR clapped his hands together and joined her on the couch.  
"What's good, here?" asked Spazz.  
"Ooo... the Anti-Psychotic Game Show is on! I love this show."  
"Who would want to be anti-psychotic?"  
"I dunno..."  
  
Zim glanced up in annoyance as he heard the theme music from yet another stupid TV show.   
"Thirty macro-midgets of reinforced STEEL ALLOY cannot keep the insanity out!" he screamed. "When will they learn? TV is not the answer... merely a sedative. Hmm..."  
"It's the wacky wacky wacky wacky theeeeeeeme show!"  
Zim distinctly heard two voices singing along. As he tapped buttons, he wondered why ANY Irkin calling him or herself an Invader would tolerate such unrestrained, unproductive dribble from something as primative as a TV.  
"It could at LEAST operate on an INTERESTING wavelength," he muttered. "Silly underevolved bipeds... relying so on their microwaves..."   
Zim entered a few calculations into the terminal. "Ahh... distortion. Most sweetest of disorganizational words..." The terminal accepted the precise mathematics and began carrying out his orders. "Now... to darken the TVs over all the lands!" He laughed evilly and made a not-so-nice face as he pushed a button. "Trust me," he said to himself. "It's ALWAYS the red button."  
  
"Kimberly here says she has TEN voices in her head. Do we believe Kimberly? Huh, audience? Do we? We've only met three so far-"  
"She's lying," said Spazz, flicking a piece of popcorn into the air and catching it in her mouth.  
"How do you know?" asked GIR, eyes wide and semi-focused on the glossy screen.  
"Two of them were from the same place," explained Spazz. "But they didn't have the same accent."  
"You're so smart," breathed GIR.  
"And... the audience has chosen... FAKE! Kimberly, your stunt as a failed psychotic killer has earned you the rights to a cruize in Alabama and ten years behind bars!"  
GIR and Spazz laughed as Kimberly turned pale white and screamed while being dragged off-screen by two armed guards.  
"Next up, a man who identifies himself only as "Fajito."  
"Taco!" screamed GIR.  
"Taco?"  
Suddenly, the screen fuzzed over. The gray snow fizzled until it faded to black, and there was silence.  
"NOOOO!" screamed GIR, flinging himself to the floor, and into a bit of slime trail. "NOOO!"  
Spazz flinched. "Shh, listen," she said, pointing down.  
GIR stopped long enough in his sobs to hear violent, evil laughter sounding from downstairs. His eyes turned red. "Zim..." he growled.  
He jumped up and ran into the kitchen.  
  
"I love marshmellows."  
Spazz squinted at the mound of white fluff, quickly disappearing, before GIR.  
"They look squishy," she said.  
"And sticky," replied GIR with his mouth full.  
Zim strolled out of the toilet, looking very smug.  
"Geep!" screamed Spazz. She launched a marshmellow at Zim.  
His smug look quickly melted into one of confusion. "Aaah!" he screamed, flinging himself aside. The marshmellow flew by him, hit the floor, and exploded.  
"GIR!"   
GIR flinched. "What?"  
"Sorry, habit." Zim cleared his throat. "Spazz!"  
"Yes?" she smiled, fluttering her eyelashes.  
"What are you doing, throwing explosive monkey garbage food around my house?! I could have been-"  
"Monkey food?"  
Zim scowled. "I could have been-" he started in a low voice.  
"Vio-lated!" finished Spazz. She rocked back on her heels with laughter. "Wuhahahahahahaha!"  
GIR joined in on the laugh, but it was not apparent if he understood why it was funny, if it was funny at all, which Zim didn't think it to be.  
"I know what's going on here!" Zim screamed, pointing at Spazz. "A conspiracy!"  
At the word, her laughter stopped. She stood shock-still, not even twitching.  
"Conspiracy!" squeaked GIR. Spazz ignored him.  
Zim took a step toward her. She didn't move. He took another step. She didn't move. He reached out and grabbed her arm, pulling the cuff up.  
"Ah ha-"  
"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!" Spazz's high pitched scream shattered a few windows.   
Zim looked carefully at the thin glass tube imbedded into her shoulder. It looked like the tube of a thermometer, with markings at different heights indicating the amount of liquid still left in the tube. It was very small, and easily hidden by her short sleeve.  
GIR giggled.  
"If this is what I think it is," said Zim slowly, "then you can't be an Invader."  
Spazz snapped her head away from him and stared at the wall. "Why?" she asked.  
The full realization of who he was with suddenly hit Zim. He took a small step back from her.  
"Only the most unstable of Irkins are permitted, no, forced to wear this," he said firmly.   
Spazz sniffed.  
"This administrates medications so potent they could reduce an entire city of worm ridden humanlings to zombies!" Zim's eyes suddenly sparked at that. "Please tell me you have more?"  
"No," said Spazz sadly. "No more."  
"We're doomed!" GIR sang cheerfully.  
"NO more?! How did they LET you come here?" screamed Zim. "You can't GO for very long without these kinds of blockers, can you?"  
A single tear dripped out of one eye. Spazz blinked it away. "YOU DON'T LIKE ME ANY MORE!!!" she sobbed. She wrenched her arm away from Zim and covered her face. "Just because I can't stay focused for more than one-" a butterfly passed by the window just then, and Spazz lifted her head. "Ooo! Pretty!"  
"Doomed! Doom, doom, doom-"  
"GIR, shut up!"  
Zim looked carefully at Spazz. Backing away slowly, he felt along the wall for a certain compartment. While she is still occupied, he thought to himself. He flicked a secret door open and grabbed a sophisticated-looking gun.  
Spazz looked over blearily. Recognizing the weapon, she let out a shriek. Zim took careful aim. A single dart lodged itself into Spazz's right shoulder. She fell flat on her face with an ungainly THUD.  
"Is she dead?" asked GIR, smiling and popping another delicious marshmallow into his mouth.


	5. The GLF

***  
  
I'd like to say that this is the point in the fic when things get confusing. Don't worry about it. Smile, nod, and read on! There may be a virtual cupcake in it for you Maybe   
  
***  
  
Chapter 4 The GLF  
  
"The tranquilizer in the drug should have left her in a vegetative state," said Zim, standing over the small bed Spazz was strapped to. "A combination of other drugs has counteracted it, however."  
GIR jumped on top of the unconscious Spazz. He opened one of her eyelids up, then the other. "She's watching me!"  
"Cut that out," said Zim, knocking GIR off the table. GIR fell, bounced, and commenced cartwheels all over the floor, and some of the walls.  
"Also however," continued Zim, "she should be in such a state that she can prove useful to me. She can answer questions without the inhibitions of her defective mind." Again he eyed the empty glass tube in her shoulder. She hadn't seemed particularly normal even under the effects of her medication.  
"Now Spazz," he said conversationally, tapping the side of her head with a pen. "Tell me about who sent you here."  
"G.L.F." she said in a slow, monotonous voice.  
"G.L.F.?" asked Zim. "What is that?"  
"Girk... Liber... ation... Front."  
Girk? "The gibbous and thus imperfect sister planet of Irk?" asked Zim.  
"Cor... rect."  
Zim burst out laughing. "We have dominated that so called 'planet' for years!" He paced around the head of the bed. "So gibbous-y and rough! Not at all smooth and perfect!" He waited for a reply, but got none.  
Zim snorted and cleared his throat. "And, just WHO is running this 'G.L.F.'?"  
"Irkin... rebels..." Spazz's body shook.  
"Bwahahahah! 'Rebels,'" Zim wiped one eye. "If they want so badly to escape the iron grip of the Irkin empire, why did they send YOU to me?"  
"They... did... that... to... every... Invader."  
"Why?"  
She twitched. "Stop... invasion."  
Zim waited for more information. "Ha," he said. "What's wrong with them, anyhow? We are the superior race, and if you said that they themselves are Irkin..."  
"They... are a... colony... of Irk... ins. Want... freedom."  
"Hahahahaha!"  
"The... food is... horrible."  
Zim thought of his short stint in the Food Courtia. "I won't deny that," he said quickly. "Who did they send to the other Invaders?"  
"Emptied the... Asylum."  
His eyes opened wide at that. The Insane Asylum at Girk was where the Tallest had dumped all the useless beings they had found during the empire's years of pillaging. In fact, Girk was thought of as the garbage heap of the universe. Other than the lump of mud he was standing on currently. He thought for a moment.  
"How do these... Liberators expect to overcome the mightiness of the Irkin elite?"  
"Conspiracy..." whispered Spazz.  
He squinted. "What conspiracy?"  
"Tallest Red..."  
Zim stopped pacing. "What about him?" he snapped.  
"Not... tall..."  
"That makes no sense," Zim spat. "Elaborate. Elaborate, or feel the pressure of my haaaand..." he made a fist near her face.  
"Hiya Zim!" Spazz sat bolt upright, snapping the restraints. She shook her head. "What's wrong?"  
Zim's eyes were wide. "How did you do that?" he asked, annoyed and angry.  
She shrugged. "I want... marshmallows! Wee!" she hopped off the bed.  
"No you don't," said Zim, running after her. "You have to stay under CLOSE SUPERVISION."  
"I'm dangerousssss!" sang Spazz as she ran around in circles, always just too far for Zim to grab.  
"What were you saying about Tallest Red?" screamed Zim, desperate for an answer.  
"Tallest Red?" Spazz suddenly stopped and crouched down. Zim tripped over her and went sprawling. "He must be clumsy. Just like you! Clumsy Zim! Clumsy Red!"  
"Red Zim!" said GIR from somewhere on the ceiling.  
"Get down from there, GIR," mumbled Zim absentmindedly. He shook his head clear of the ringing from impact and stood.  
Spazz ran around the edge of the room. She pried open a door, and ran down it. Her scream echoed into the room.  
"EEEEEEE! Hallway!!"   
Zim quickly shut the door between the room and the hallway. "I'll let you come out of there," he screamed, "if you let me make some medicine for you!"  
He heard her desperately scraping the door with her hands. "Let me out!" she sobbed. "Hallway! Hallway! Lemme out! Out out out!"  
GIR tilted his head. "I think she is afraid," he said.  
"You can come out if you obey me!" Zim screamed over the sound of her clawing the door.   
The clawing stopped. Seconds later, the sound of metal hitting metal clanged throughout the house. Spazz was slamming the door with the spidery legs from her backpack.  
Zim braced himself against the door. "You can't come out of there until you agree to let me help you!" he screamed.  
The noises stopped. "But the medicine tastes funny," she complained, her voice muffled by the door.  
"You don't DRINK it," said Zim in exasperation, "it goes INTO you."  
"Oh yeah..."  
Zim suddenly fell forward as the door was opened. Spazz leapt over him, then turned around.  
"Silly," she said, "you're not supposed to stand by the door!" She picked up one of his feet and calmly hummed her way back over to the bed.  
  
"Do you remember any of the names of the INGREDIENTS?"  
"Um... no." Spazz grinned.  
"Do you remember any of the side effects?"  
"Um... no."  
"Do you remember what disease it was for?"  
"Um... no."  
Zim sighed. She was not being any help at all. At least she was sitting still.  
"Do you remember what COLOR it was?"  
"Um..." she tilted her head. "Red?"  
"Argh..."  
"So are you gonna make some for me?" asked Spazz, hopping up and down on the bed.  
"I do not have enough information," said Zim between his teeth.   
"Aww, that's too bad. I thought you were smart!"  
"I bet it had sugar in it!" said GIR. "I bet you wished it had sugar in it!"  
Spazz's eyes lit up. "Yeah!" she said, "sugar!"  
Zim raised one eyebrow. "I seriously doubt putting sugar in your medication would in any way ASSIST in your-"  
"And pudding," said GIR.  
"Mmm hmm," nodded Spazz.  
"I like pudding," said GIR, sticking his tongue out.  
"I know!" said Spazz. "Zim, do you like pudding?"  
His eye twitched. "No," he said carefully. "I do not like pudding."  
"Aww..." both GIR and Spazz made pouting faces at him.  
"Oh fine!" Zim threw down the printout he was working on. "Let's all go up to the kitchen and have ourselves a snack," he said sarcastically.  
"Ooo..." said Spazz, glancing at a hunter-destroyer robot. "Can I have a ride?"  
"No! Upstairs!"


	6. Stages of Insanity

***  
  
I wrote this thing about 3 years ago, but I remember that this part was the most fun to write. Ahhh hahah. Happy Puppy Phase. I crack me up; it's so bad.  
  
***  
  
Chapter 5 Stages of Insanity  
  
Zim sat, squinting in annoyance and trying to ignore the commotion around him. Spazz and GIR had made up a new game, in which there were three players; themselves, and the pudding. Right now they were encouraging the pudding to play to its fullest potential.  
"Come on," cheered GIR, "jump the ring of fire!"  
Spazz looked like she was getting tired. She was holding an emptying can of gasoline, wheeling her arms in circles, making a ring of fire. When the pudding seemed reluctant, GIR helpfully slung globs of it through the fire. Splotches of it landed on Zim, but he didn't seem to notice.  
He was thinking very hard about something.   
Spazz was obviously someone from whom reliable data was unlikely. Her report of this G.L.F. could be as made up as anything else in her head. The only thing that dissuaded him from this thought was that she had reluctantly given up the information, and done it while semi-still, semi under his control.   
So that left him with doubts. Supposing it WAS true. The threat of any so called 'rebels' was laughable- they could be controlled as easily as... his eyes wandered vaguely over GIR. As easily as... something the complete opposite of GIR.  
"Don't add MORE gasoline to put the fire out," called Zim, more out of habit than for helpful reasons, "use water..."  
GIR brightened. Literally- though his metal body was not likely to catch fire, or even melt, the collection of stuffed animals in his head had begun to smoke.  
"Okee dokey!" he said cheerfully, and ran to the sink.  
Zim lapsed back into his thoughts. The only thing that bothered him was the fact that they had emptied the Asylum. Was that true?   
Possibly.  
And now insane little Irkins disguised as Invaders were permeating every corner of the Universe. Worse, even, if it could be worse- they had only enough medicine for what seemed like one standard Earth day. Not long enough at all.  
His mission was, though exceedingly important, still just a tiny piece to the giant puzzle of Galactic Control.   
They would ruin everything.  
Luckily, or perhaps not so, a sudden cry of pity and sadness interrupted his stream of thoughts.  
"MY MOOSE! WHO BURN-ED MY MOOSE? I LOVED MY MOOSE!!"  
From the other room he heard GIR sobbing. Spazz stuck her tongue out at Zim, as though it were his fault the moose had been fatally charred, grabbed some frozen pierogies from the freezer, and ran to the room GIR was in.  
"Don't cry," she said, dumping the pierogies into his head. "Here are some NEW friends for you!"  
GIR sniffed. "They're not furry," he pouted.   
"Not yet! Just wait a couple of days!"  
The robot sniffed, smiled, then ran straight up the wall, initiating a game of tag.  
Zim went back to his thoughts, which had recently scattered.  
"Where was I?" he asked angrily, flicking pudding off his face.   
Oh yes... the insane Invaders...   
Should he contact the Tallest and warn them?  
The thought suddenly reminded him of something else.  
What was that she had said about Tallest Red?  
"Not... tall?" he said out loud. He scowled. "Still makes NO sense..." Zim returned to the thoughts on medications.  
"STAGE ONE: Light Insanity: A relatively harmless, though harrowing, and sometimes overbearing state of mind (to those looking on)"  
The printout had suffered pudding smears, but was still readable.  
"Recommended procedure: give patient whacky pills NOW, while they are still relatively friendly and can sit still for three seconds at a time.  
STAGE TWO: Homicidal Tendencies: Dangerous behavior, characterized by a fondness for pointy and/or deadly objects such as knives, chainsaws, razor-tipped laser-guided homing devices, baseball bats etc.  
Recommended procedure: RUN. Hide, and wait for Stage Three."  
STAGE THREE: Medium Insanity: Slightly more harmless than Light Insanity, but no where as deadly as Stage Two. Do not attempt to corner patient, for at this point they see any movement other than 'friendly' ones as threats. Constant annoyance.  
Recommended procedure: Integrate medications in a game; try to trick patient into taking his/her meds. If not done quickly enough, patient will lapse into Stage Four, and no one wants that."  
Zim looked grimly over the rest of the printout, reading only the titles.  
STAGE FOUR: Psychotic Running Amuck  
STAGE FIVE: High-intensity Insanity Phase  
STAGE SIX: Bloodthirsty Raging (Self) Destructive Killing Phase  
STAGE SEVEN: Happy Puppy Phase  
The rest of the titles were equally foreboding and hopeless. After Stage Three, there were no more instructions for administering medication. Zim thought that must have been because no one had survived administrating it.  
Spazz seemed to still be in Stage One. That, at least, was promising. The readout did not say how much time she would be in that stage.  
Suddenly, she stood over him, tapping one foot. "What is that?" she asked, arms folded over her chest.  
"A simple... printout..." said Zim, edging away from her.  
"What's it about?"   
She snatched it up before he could destroy it. Or eat it. Or run away.  
"Ahh..." she said. She laughed. "I usually skip Stage Two..." Zim breathed a sigh of relief, "and go straight to Stage Four."  
"Really, now?" coughed Zim. He swallowed, and tried to get up out of his chair.  
"The Happy Puppy Phase is fun," she squeaked. She shot him a strange glance. "I'd like to know what YOU look like as a Happy Puppy."  
Zim did not.   
"But you know what they say!" she laughed.  
Zim blinked at her.   
"No, I believe I do not know."  
Spazz grinned. "Of course!" she said, as if she had just stumbled on an obvious answer. "They DON'T say it! They're all DEAD by then!"  
Zim 'eeped' and crunched himself into the wall. He braced his legs, squinted carefully for good aim, and prepared to launch her clear across the room.  
But that was not to be. Spazz grabbed his foot good-naturedly and dragged him down to the lab.  
"For your own personal safety," she said conversationally, "I think you'd better get working."  
GIR waved to Zim as he passed by, occasionally whacking his head on the hard floor. "Bye bye, master! Don't be sad!" GIR threw a pierogie at Zim, "have a friend!"  
The frozen dinner hit him in the forehead, and he nearly saw stars.


	7. Enter Dib, Again

***  
  
Dib is not my favorite character [heck, read Pre-Disturbed Anna, you'll see], but he's still very interesting and easy to write for. Go Big Headed Boy! Someday you'll catch that alien some day  
  
***  
  
Chapter 6 Enter Dib, Again  
  
"Dib, you're amazing."  
Dib grinned.   
"Why, thank you!"  
He sat for a moment, grinning, and gripping the roof-top carefully. No one else was there to congratulate him, or tell him how great he was, so he had to do it himself.   
The amazing thing was that he was not on his OWN roof, but that of his, and human kind's, greatest enemy.  
Dib was sitting on Zim's roof.  
"That was pure genius!"  
Dib laughed and told himself knock it off. The plan had been so deceptively simple... no wonder it had taken him days to figure it out.  
He was always trying to break into Zim's house. When he stepped on the front lawn, the gnomes dragged him back. When he had tried to go underground through the sewers, the tentacles of the house had flung him back. He had tried entering from the ground, under the ground, near the ground, and windows half-way up the house.  
But not yet had he tried to break in from the TOP of the house. The trampoline lay forlorn in the neighbor's yard, awaiting his bouncy return.  
"At last," said Dib, crawling near the satellite dish. Taking a flat tool out of the bag he had brought with him, he inserted the edge between the satellite's base and the roof of the house. The edge glowed blue, and the sealant between the two surfaces melted away. Dib carefully pried the satellite dish off the roof. Thinking to take it as evidence, he tossed it down to the trampoline, and shimmied down the hole.  
Inside the attic was dark. He flicked on a flashlight, and ducked.  
A thousand sharp little darts flew over his head. They hissed as they hit the opposite wall, and gas streamed out. Holding his breath, Dib ran for a trap door in the floor. A faint smell of bug spray followed him down the stairs, but nothing more.  
Running through a jumble of rooms, he found another set of stairs and went down to the ground floor. He froze. A lone, high pitched voice rang throughout the house.  
"I love you, little pierogie! You are the best little pierogie in this whole room."  
Dib recognized the voice, and he had come prepared to deal with its owner. Reaching into his bag, he pulled out a plush cow. Dib threw the cow into the room with all of his might.  
"COW!!"  
Dib took the moment of distraction and ran with it. He paused in what might have been a kitchen to catch his breath. "Oh great," he muttered aloud, "I've been so worried about how to get IN the stupid house, I don't know where anything is."  
Suddenly he heard voices- voices that weren't coming from the next room over. One was Zim's, changing dramatically in pitch and degrees of yelling. The other was faint and monotonous. Dib walked slowly around the room, trying to find their source.  
  
By working backwards in Spazz's memory, Zim had been able to find a personality that was actually one of the doctors who had worked on her. She spat the recipe for the medications out easily, then switched to another personality.  
"The food is just TERRIBLE!" she screamed.  
"Yes, yes," said Zim impatiently, wondering who he was dealing with now. "Anything else?"  
"It smells funny in the hallways."  
Zim groaned. "Anything of importance?" he snapped.  
"Freedom!" screamed the personality.  
He froze. "Freedom...?"  
"From those stupid Irkins who think they're in charge! Yeah! Who's with me?"  
Zim watched Spazz closely.  
"Yeah! The old guy in the back is right! Just because they took over our planets, and didn't ask permission, and didn't put anything back that they borrowed..." she trailed off. "Where was I?"  
"The Tallest," prompted Zim.  
"Oh yeah! They were the slimiest of them all! With their haughty height and big, weird eyes..." she trailed off again. Apparently, this personality was as fragmented as she was.  
"Tallest Red!" screeched Zim.  
"Ah, yes! That old guy in the back is right again!" Spazz put her hands together evilly. "But we know that special something, don't we? We know that one, little thing that will bring the proud Irkin Empire to its KNEES!"  
Zim nearly jumped up in excitement. "What?!" he screamed. "What could that possibly be?!"  
Spazz looked up at him. "Huh?" she asked.  
Zim growled. "WHAT WERE YOU JUST SAYING?!" Upstairs, though he did not know it, a certain meddling Earth creature had just flinched.  
Spazz's eyes teared up. "I don't know!" she said. "That was a guy at a meeting I went to!"  
Zim counted to a big number. When he was relatively calm, he rephrased his question.   
"Can you remember anything else? Anything at all? AnyONE at all... the people who gave you this mission?"  
Spazz squinched her eyebrows together in puzzlement. "Um..." Suddenly she fell back with such force her head slammed on the bed.  
"...that's right, insert it there, in the shoulder. This defective module will run out much more quickly than the usuals... don't bother the mis-informer chip underneath, its recording us right now..." The voice was silent for a time, as if listening to more voices. "...of course! This one is going to... well, huh. The backwaters of the Known Galaxy. Shame to waste such an insane one on such an unimportant mission."  
Zim ignored that statement.  
"...did you alert their Tallest of our 'assistants'? ...hahaha! Good, good... these fools in the Asylum seem to think that we're rebels or something... NO WE'RE NOT! How many times do I have to tell you that?" Spazz made an angry scowling sound, made by one who has dealt too long with idiots and is getting quite tired of it. "No, we're not... Because, you great, spindly fool... my master plan? I don't think we should discuss it before the patient."  
Zim quietly hoped that they had.  
"...fine, but this is the last time I'm telling you! So write it down, or something... As you can see, I clearly tower over all of you, with my increased height, I must therefore have a position in the leadership of the- stop drooling like that. Yeah, wipe your face, you sick little- anyway... By pure... twist of grossly twisted fate, one fiendish Irkin grew taller than I... and his name is... Purple."  
Zim frowned. He thought that this had concerned Red...  
"Purple, and Purple alone, is the Tallest."  
Zim reeled back on his heels. "What?!" he screamed. "Impossible! More than impossible! Insanely, stupidly, ridiculously-drenched impossible!"  
"Though this may seem an insanely, stupidly, and ridiculously-drenched impossibility, it is true. Soon the Universe will know that Red is only truly-"  
The next thing that happened made Zim so incredibly angry that he just stood still, shaking.  
Dib fell through the ceiling, screaming the entire way down, and landing quite painfully on top of Spazz. She was knocked out on impact. Dib rubbed his eyes, and the first thing he saw made him sit back a bit, causing Spazz to squeak.  
Zim stood over him, shaking with so much anger he couldn't move.  
A minute passed. Dib looked uncertainly at Zim with a get-it-on-with look. Zim opened his mouth, and out streamed...  
...what was possibly the longest, loudest, and most profane run-on sentence ever uttered in the history of the Irkin Empire. Dib might have even been in awe, had he understood a word of it.  
At the end of the curse, Zim lunged for Dib. Dib squawked, and the chase began.  
"How did you get into my house, you miserable little Earth miscreant?!"  
Dib laughed as he bounded over a huge piece of machinery. "Wouldn't you know," he called back behind him, "I can't quite tell you, because it would take a genius to understand and appreciate it!"  
"I will rip your most vital organ out of you and force feed it to the nearest orifice!"   
Dib ducked under a low beam and curved around. For a comical moment, he and Zim were looking at each other face to face, then the moment went fleeting to the place where all the other moments in the universe go, and the chase went on.  
"They'll certainly be interested in how far you can run!" screamed Dib, his sides heaving, "maybe they'll put you in one of those little hamster wheels, but not as little, and you'll keep running and running, and you won't get anywhere!"  
"Sort of like what you're doing, Dib?" spat Zim.  
Dib paused. "Sort of," he said, ducking under another beam, "but you'll run forever, and in little circles. Around and around and around..."  
The next thing Dib knew, he was being chased by a Zim supported with giant, metal, spider-like legs. "No fair!" he huffed.   
Suddenly, a very creepy scream cut through the air. It was agonizing, then sad, then very very very very angry.  
"Uh oh," said Zim, pulling up next to Dib. "Phase Two. Spazz-induced doom!"  
Dib looked up in fear. Zim scowled and plucked the Earth boy from the floor. "The only reason I do this for you," he said darkly, "is so that I myself can kill you later."  
Dib's eyes bulged. Zim glared at him, then started running as far from the opposite wall as possible.   
"RRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!"  
Zim desperately clawed at the wall, turning off as many terminals as quickly as possible.   
"What are you doing?" screamed Dib, thinking Zim was cutting off their route up to the house.  
"Preventing her from reaching anything pointy," sneered Zim, "unless you have a better idea?"  
Dib said nothing. Every device, module, and tool in the huge room suddenly found a nice hole in the floor to retreat to. Even the corners of the walls themselves smoothed out.   
"There," said Zim in relief, "absolutely nothing pointy in the room at all."  
Spazz screamed threateningly from the opposite curve of the room. She picked up a baseball bat.  
"Uh oh," said Zim.  
"AAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!"   
Spazz ran faster than Dib could have thought. She ran right up to them, and started hitting Zim in the spider legs with the bat.  
"OW!" he screamed, moving them up and down, dodging the bat. "OW! My gangly legs!"  
"Run!" screamed Dib. "Run for our lives!"  
Zim groaned and started clawing his way up the wall. "GIR!" he screamed. "GIR!"  
From above came the cheery voice.  
"I'm kinda busy right now!"  
"GIR! Save us!"  
"COW!!"  
"Cow?" Zim looked at Dib, puzzled. Dib grinned sheepishly and shrugged. "Get down here, GIR! Spazz has gone completely, horrifically, homicidally insane! Save me!"  
GIR sighed and lay his newest bovine friend aside. He activated his little jets and zoomed through the floor.   
"Hello master," he said, waving to Zim. "Hello funny cow bringer," he said, waving again to Dib.  
Zim shot Dib one look of intent-for-murder, folded up his spider legs, and grabbed hold of GIR. They unsteadily made their way to safety.  
  
GIR returned to his toy. He propped it up. "Hello, Cow. Did you miss me?" he paused. "Oh good! I missed you too."  
Zim lay sprawled on the kitchen floor, breathing heavily. Dib crawled to a chair and sat up.  
"What," he demanded between breaths, "was that?"  
Zim looked up in distinct hatred. "YOU should not be asking the questions here!" he screamed, standing up. "This is MY house, and I believe you have trespassed."  
Dib didn't look away from the glint in the alien's large red eyes. "Spazz seemed normal enough earlier, well, normal for... I don't know, not as exactly normal as you, not that you're normal, well..." he looked down at his hands, confused.  
Zim tapped one foot on the floor. "What is your unimaginably complicated and unnecessary question?"  
"What's wrong with Spazz?"  
Zim huffed. "She is insane," he said matter-of-factly. "And this is but ONE stage of many where she goes completely and utterly violent."  
"Ah." Dib nodded for lack of a better thing to do. "Well, aren't you going to fix it?"  
Zim scowled.   
Dib squinted. "Unless... she's all a part of your little plan!" he stood up, jabbing one finger to the sky. "Maybe her insanity is contagious! Of course... sending her to Skool to make every kid on the planet-"  
Zim cut him off with an insulted laugh. "No wonder I didn't come up with that plan," he said, "it had to come from someone as underevolved as YOU."  
Dib bristled with indignancy.   
"No, in fact, her being loose on Earth is precisely one forty-two thousandth of the chaos the Invasion will bring."  
"So... then... you ARE going to fix her."  
Zim sighed. "As my personal health stands as such, yes."  
A piece of floor bubbled up, as if struck from beneath. Dib glanced at the door.  
"Well, why don't I leave you to do that..." said Dib. I always have the satellite as proof, he thought to himself.   
Zim advanced on him, hands outstretched. "Oh, I don't think so..."  
The floor shuddered, and the edge of a hatchet protruded from the hole.  
"RAAAAAAAGH!"  
Zim's angry face turned to one of thought, then back to anger. He lowered his hands. "This will have to be postponed," he said, picking up a large dart gun.  
Dib put his hands up. "Don't shoot-" he said weakly.  
Zim ignored him and pointed the gun at the floor. "Hallways!" he screamed.  
Unbeknownst to Dib, the scream that answered back contained a few curses. Zim looked down with one eyebrow up.   
"HALLWAYS! PEOPLE WITH NEEDLES!"  
"RRRRRRAAAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHH!"  
"Um," said Dib, pointing to the floor, "maybe you shouldn't antagonize her..."  
The hatchet swung through the floor again, and Spazz scampered through the hole. Zim stuck out his tongue, focused the laser-guided unnecessarily-complicated guidance thingie, and shot her full of darts.  
In the silence that followed, Spazz hit the floor face down, and Dib nearly wet his pants with fear.  
"Cow!" sang a happy voice.  
  
Zim ignored Dib. It was easy to do. The earth beast was bound and gagged. Zim eyed the giant needle, measuring the amount of medicine. His eyes straggled for a moment longer than necessary to enjoy the look of the bubbles in the liquid.  
"Bubbly!" cried GIR. "I want some!"  
"No, GIR, this is not for you."  
"I WANT some!"  
"No, it's not for you!"  
"I WANT IT!"  
"NO!"  
GIR sniffed. He ran around Zim in an angry little circle, than sat on Dib's lap. He bounced, jolting Dib uncomfortably.  
"Gff fff!" cried Dib.  
"What?" asked the robot, tilting his head in confusion.  
Zim took careful aim, and plunged the huge needle into a small hole in the glass tube in Spazz's shoulder. It filled slowly with the viscous liquid. He removed the giant needle, put it somewhere safe in case it was needed again, which he was sure it would be. Zim didn't open the small valve in the tube yet.  
He glanced at Dib, pondering his choices. "I COULD let you be parry to the information I am about to extract from my colleague," he said, tauntingly. "But, that wouldn't be very smart of me, would it?"  
Dib couldn't speak, so he didn't bother to try to.  
"Then again," continued Zim, "you have ALREADY seen much more than you should have. Perhaps it does not matter if you hear more." He walked over to Dib and leered in his face. "I could go on and on, just to annoy you."  
GIR squeaked his approval of the last idea. He jumped off Dib's lap so Zim could leer closer.  
"Should I? Shouldn't I? Or, now that Spazz is properly controlled," Zim picked up one of Dib's hands and held it delicately, "should I destroy you?" Zim waited until Dib's hand shook with the proper amount of fear, then let it drop. "You DO HAVE a habit of getting in the way at the most INOPPORTUNE times..."  
Fortunately, for Dib, GIR jumped on top of Spazz and started poking at the glass tube in her shoulder.  
"No! GIR! Get away from there!"  
Zim rushed over to GIR and pulled him off. "Go watch some TV," he said in disgust. GIR saluted and ran off.  
Zim thought a moment, then called GIR back again. "Take the prisoner with you," he said, "I'm SURE a human with his brain caliber would SURELY appreciate a reality break right now." Zim smiled, knowing full well that no human could enjoy anything, especially TV, with GIR near.  
With Dib safely out of earshot, Zim wandered over to Spazz's side. She had a nasty habit of suddenly and quickly breaking out of her restraints, and for this reason, he had placed a thick force field around her wrists, ankles, knees, elbows, and neck. If she wanted to move, she would break all of the bones in her body.  
One eyelid fluttered dangerously. Though temporarily out of consciousness, her murderous intents were still evident. She clenched her fists and grinned evil grins.  
Zim knew he would not be able to communicate with all of her memories if she took her medicine, so he left the valve shut.  
"Now," he said, business-like, "continue where you left off."  
At the order, her voice came, dragged out and monotonous.   
"Where... was... that?"  
"The guy who was talking about Tallest Red. Talk about Tallest Red," demanded Zim.  
Spazz shuddered, and her voice changed.  
"How many times do I have to tell you-"  
"No, past that part," snapped Zim.  
"...though this may seem an insanely, stupidly, and ridiculously-drenched impossibility, it is true."  
"Oh yes," said Zim, folding his hands. "Continue!"  
"Soon the Universe will know that Red is only truly..."  
"Yes? YES?!"  
"Red is .000024 micro-nuggets shorter than Purple!"  
Zim's mouth hung open. Spazz continued to talk.  
"And, because I am .000021 micro-nuggets shorter than Purple, I should be Tallest!"  
Zim's mind took moment to do a little math. "But he's still shorter than Tallest Purple-" he began in a shocked voice.  
"Once the Irkin Empire has seen how Tallest Red had cheated, it will be thrust into total chaos! If they cannot trust the Almighty Tallest, who can they trust? All their Invaders preparing small worlds for Impending Doom II will have already been killed by the Asylum members we sent out. In reality, nothing close to order will rule, until I come along."  
Spazz grinned as the demented owner of the voice had done.  
"...and I will be... Tallest Mahogany!"  
Zim shuddered. "Mahogany?! That's a terrible name for a Tallest!"  
It was, unfortunately, the only coherent thought his mind could come up with.


	8. Spazz and the True Nature of Things

***  
  
It hurts when you think everything you know is wrong.  
  
***  
  
Chapter 7 Spazz and the True Nature of Things  
  
"Cheer up, master. Killer Plants IV is on!"  
Zim stumbled past his mindless companion and sank into the couch. Dib looked over at him. Zim's eyes seemed unusually... different.  
Usually they were angry, or full of hatred, or happy about something that would quickly become destructive.  
But they were never completely hopeless. Two giant swirling pools of hopelessness. Dib began to feel depressed just looking at Zim.  
GIR had been bribed by another plush toy, and Dib could now talk, though the robot had refused to unbind him.  
"Zim?" he croaked, his mouth still full of the disgusting taste of the used gym sock gag.  
The alien looked over, blinking so depressedly that it actually made a noise. *blink*blink* If Dib had been in the right frame of mind, he might have found that fascinating.  
"Did you," he coughed hoarsely, "give her the medicine?"  
Zim slowly blinked again, this time dragging the sound out over the noisy TV show. "Oops..." he said slowly. He got up uncertainly, left the room for a few minutes, then came back.  
GIR was oblivious. "RUN!" he screamed to the next unfortunate victim of a killer plant. "Run! Or sing! They don't like singing!" he wrapped up his advice for the movie character, then turned to Dib. "I like to sing," he said brightly.  
*blink*  
Dib thought that if he didn't leave soon, he would be forever stuck in this living room, watching tasteless B movies with a jumpy robot and listening to an alien blink.  
"Cow cow cow, doom doom doom, I like tacos... TACO!"  
*blink*  
Dib twitched.  
"Moose... moose? Where'd you go... MOOSE! Who burn-ed you?!"  
*blink*  
"Eeeeee!" screamed the girl in the movie. A giant Venus Fly Trap snatched her up, and when it finished its meal, licked its lips.  
*blink*  
"COW! I FOUND you!"  
"What was that scream?"  
*blink*  
"Oh my gosh... the killer plants! They got Amy!"  
"Amy's doomed! Doom doom doom doom-"  
*blink*  
"Oh no! Now we're surrounded by killer plants!"  
"RUN!! Cow... where's my monkey show?"  
*blink*  
"I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!" Dib screamed. Zim looked over at him morosely.   
*blink*  
"Arrgh..." Dib hopped quietly, still tied to the chair, to the door. It took a minute, but he twisted the doorknob and got the door open.  
"Put the satellite back," Zim ordered weakly from in the house.  
Dib hopped out the door and it shut.   
Something had happened, Dib knew. Something so horrifying to Zim that he wouldn't even stop him from escaping.  
"What in the-"  
Two lawn gnomes stalked over and nabbed him.  
  
Down.  
His entire Empire doomed by the mutterings of an insane, pitiful female.  
Not one to be put off for long, Zim's mind searched for something it could grasp.  
The possibilities...  
First of all... the Tallest would be overthrown for cheating, then punished severely... the next-tallest Irkin would be found, and apparently it was to be this 'Mahogany' ...all the Asylum members that weren't careening through space would be very angry that Mahogany had tricked them; they weren't in fact rebels, but revolutionaries... the other Invaders... would they have noticed the glass tubes in their new partners' arms?   
Dib...  
Zim cursed aloud. He just remembered that he had let Dib go. That made him angry. Being angry was something he understood, and he clung to it.  
"GIR! Turn off that stupid TV... we have things to do!"  
The back of Zim's mind quickly asked how the TV was working, when he had distorted them all using his satellite dish, but he pushed the thought away.  
"Shut up, brain!" he commanded. "We must think of something useful now!"  
GIR jumped up excitedly and raced Zim to the kitchen. GIR won, but only because Zim 'let him.'  
He sat down quickly, and pounded the table top. The surface raised up, and a screen flickered on.  
"Almighty Tallest!" he screamed, banging the table for effect. "This is something MOST URGENT that I must speak to you about!"  
Red rolled his eyes. "What is it?" he asked lazily.  
"The-" Zim cut himself off. "Can I talk to Purple?"  
Red blinked. "Sure." Behind him, Purple groaned.  
"What?" he whined.  
Zim bit his lips, concentrating on what he was about to say. "The Invader you sent me is insane!" he screamed. "She was sent by Irkin rebels, no, revolutionaries, stationed on Girk! Their organization, G.L.F., is lead by a leader of the Asylum called Mahogany!"  
Purple stared at him. He squinted slowly, then stared some more.  
"BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!"  
Both Purple and Red burst out laughing.  
"Tallest!" cried Zim, trying to convey the urgency of his point. "Mahogany is going to accuse Red of being shorter than you, Purple!"  
Red fell over onto the floor laughing, where Purple already was, banging his fists.  
"Stop!" said Purple, "you're killing us!"  
"All the Invaders you sent out were from the Asylum! They don't have enough medication-"  
"BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"  
Behind Zim, GIR joined into the laughter.  
"They quickly go from normal to Stage Two within days!" screamed Zim.   
"BWAHAHAHAHAHA!"  
"You've got to believe me! The fate of the entire Empire-"  
The assistant Irkins working in the background collapsed in laughter. Zim stared at the screen and sputtered, becoming increasingly more angry.  
"You MUST LISTEN!" he screamed.  
"They're doomed!" sang GIR.  
Zim steamed, glaring at the Tallest for a while. They tried numerous times to get up, but when they saw Zim's angry face, they collapsed back onto the floor.  
"Rev- revolutionaries on Girk!" chortled Red between laughs.  
"The Asylum!" cracked up Purple.  
"Mahogany!" cackled someone behind them.  
"Well, they sure find that funny."  
Zim whirled around. Spazz stood behind him, arms folded across her chest.   
"How did you dis-"  
"-able the force field?" finished Spazz. She held up a sparking wire. "As a fully trained Irkin Invader, I know more than ONE thing about force fields..."  
Zim gaped at her.   
"Fully trained...?"  
She nodded. "I would have used a photon-emerced DNA blocker, personally, but you seem to have no problem with shotty work. Oh well." Spazz glanced over his shoulder. "Oh look! It's Tallest Red. Did you tell him what you found out?"  
Zim shut his mouth so he could open it again in speech.  
"Yes..."  
Spazz watched the screen. "Well... I guess they just don't take you very seriously. That's too bad. It's going to be even more difficult to work for them, considering what they did." She turned and walked out of the room. GIR followed, and Zim heard the TV click back on.  
He gaped at the screen, then the door Spazz had just exited.  
Flicking the screen off in anger, he ran after her.  
"Wait!" he screamed.  
She looked over at him, one eyebrow raised.   
"Yes?"  
Zim faltered. He didn't know quite what to say.   
"What was that?"  
"That?" she paused. "Looks like they finally figured out how to kill the killer plants." GIR applauded.  
"No no... the Tallest..." Zim's shoulders hunched the slightest bit. "They were... laughing at me..."  
Spazz shrugged. "They've done worse. Sit down and enjoy the movie."  
Zim sat down. He sat down extra hard, just to show her that he wasn't really obeying her order, but was sitting down of his own accord. Unfortunately, she hadn't noticed.  
"Okay, WHAT was all that?!" screamed Zim.  
"Please, master," said GIR, putting a finger to his mouth, "you're too loud."  
Zim clicked the TV off.  
"HEY!" screamed GIR.  
"Oh, go into the kitchen and eat something," said Zim crossly. The little robot obeyed happily and scampered away.  
"Well?"  
Zim looked up. "Huh?"  
"Why did you turn off the TV? You know, GIR was watching that."  
Zim groaned. "He can watch it anytime," he said quickly. "Explain yourself, NOW."  
Spazz cooly looked over at him. Slowly, she uncrossed her arms, crossed her legs, thought better of it, and laid comfortably across the whole couch.   
"Ah," she said. "What?"  
The look Zim gave her would have sent a humpbacked whale screaming. Thus, it had no effect on Spazz.  
She stuck her tongue out at him.  
"What ARE you?" screamed Zim.  
"Medicated," she replied, shrugging her shoulders, "thanks, by the way."  
"Medicated," repeated Zim.   
"Yes," she said, as if he were being stupid. "YOU did that. What, you need a reminder?"  
He scowled.   
"The entire time you have been here," he said slowly, "you have not said anything more intelligent than GIR. EXCEPT just a minute ago. You distinctly said 'photon-emerced DNA blocker.'"  
"So? What do you mean 'more intelligent than GIR'?"  
Zim ignored her question. "In order to even KNOW what a photon-emerced DNA blocker is, you would have had to attend special training-"  
"So? I did."  
Zim blinked, but not audibly. "WHY ARE YOU MEDICATED IF YOU ARE AN INVADER? On that note... Why ARE you an Invader?"  
Spazz smiled, and flicked her head back. "Simply because... I am brilliant."  
"Brilliant."  
"Yes!"  
Zim looked as if he did not quite believe her.  
She sighed. "Would you like some proof?" she shouted, jumping up unexpectedly. "Look at this! I found this!"  
She held up a small chip. Zim took it.  
"A mis-informer," he said, flashing light off its patterened surface. "Where did you get this from?"  
"I didn't GET it," said Spazz angrilly. "They put it IN me. I was working on a classified project with some of the slobs in the Asylum. It concentrated on an interesting race of beings from Shfxyul II."  
He nodded. He had heard of that planet.  
"Since it's classified, I naturally can't tell you a thing about it," said Spazz, sticking her tongue out at him again.   
Zim frowned. "What does that have to do with anything?"  
"Well... everything."  
"Like what, exactly?" asked Zim sarcastically.  
"You know how Irkin experiments always end... either really really wrong, really really right, or to make a fool of somebody."  
Zim nodded.  
"They botched it. Screwed it up. Someone made a VERY big mistake. The experiment went really really wrong on ME. I now have a nice catologue of every wretched creature in the Asylum. So, of course, I get to take part in their treatment." She paused, touching the glass tube with extreme distaste. "Luckily, when controlled, I am SO BRILLIANT!"  
Zim squinted. "Where does this chip come in?"  
"I found it under the glass tube. I can't believe you missed it so many times!"  
Zim quickly waved the matter away. "Irkin mistakes, while very few and far between-"  
"Yeah, yeah."  
"So, none of that was true?"  
"Nope."  
"And I just called the Tallest and told them-" Zim's eyes widened. "I JUST MADE A COMPLETE FOOL OUT OF MYSELF!"  
"Yup. I wouldn't dwell on it."  
"AUGH!"  
Spazz hummed quietly, waiting for Zim to calm down.  
"Why did they send you here?" he finally asked, a mean glimmer in his eyes.  
Spazz paused and thought for a moment. "They just don't like you," she said carefully.  
Zim stuttered.  
"I mean... it was kind of a cruel trick," said Spazz quickly, "I wasn't exactly AROUND to make an argument, if you get it," she said, indicating the glass tube, "they sent me to you, without enough stuff to last, simply because..."  
"Because?"  
"...they could." Her eyes narrowed. She looked around the room. She clenched her fists. "When I get my hands on their little squeedillyspooches..."  
GIR bounced into the room. Literally. He had wrapped himself in hundreds of rubber bands. He hit the walls and smashed anything in his way.  
"GIR! Do not destroy the house! Put your disguise on and play outside!" screamed Zim.  
GIR bounched off the ceiling and nearly missed decapitating his master. "I can't controllllll it!" he squeaked.  
Eventually he bounced out the door again.  
"I think it could be fun here," said Spazz suddenly, watching GIR leave. "Eventually, the invasion will reach this little mud ball, and by then, we'll have it ready. The Tallest can't say we didn't do our job," she finished, winking one eye.  
Zim stopped in his pacing to sort it all out.  
"So none of that conspiracy stuff was true?"  
"Nope."  
"And you're really insane?"  
"Yup."  
Not good, thought Zim. I don't need another GIR on my hands.  
"But also intelligent?" he asked, watching her carefully.  
"Yup."  
"But not without medication?"  
"Yup."  
"Ugh..." Zim rubbed his hands over his face. "We'll just have to see how this all works out..."  
"Yay!" screamed Spazz. She jumped around the room, knocked Zim down, and turned on the TV.  
  
***  
  
Okay! That's all for now. Hoped you liked Spazz. She's pretty darn special. Reviews always appreciated. Thanks for reading!!


End file.
